Unexpected answers dept.
“I had to ask, ‘why were you pretending to be ponies during the fire drill?'”
“Because we thought it was a real fire!”
At vintage clothing store in Burlington, VT, asked why I was looking for tall white cowboy boots and a tight, spangled turquoise minidress with a fluttery skirt. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ve heard it all.” “They’re for a baton-twirling routine I’m performing for a funeral tomorrow,” I answered truthfully. She was very helpful, I found both items, and rocked the funeral to the strains of “Let the Sunshine In” –but she admitted that she had not, in fact, heard that particular true statement before.
Angela Bocage 
well, when I was in grad school, there was a time when I didn’t turn in a homework assignment, saying it had fallen victim to an incontinent cat–and it was true.
| Posted 16 years, 2 months agoDear Bass Cat Lady,
| Posted 16 years, 2 months agoSigh. Sometimes, dear, your phrasings are as circuitous as the path one must navigate through the meowing, purring musical instruments that fill any dwelling you inhabit! Surely you don’t mean you are one of the few to be able to say truthfully that your pet ate your homework. Otherwise your cat’s continence or lack thereof would hardly have been germane. My alternate translation would thus be “my cat urinated/defecated on my homework.” Sorry, BCL, but “cat” and “j-school homework” clearly can’t take the prize from “elephant” and “Corvette.” However, I have a suspicion that you have other true statements that would win prizes, involving, perhaps, human infants and infamous punk rock venues. Or gallant deeds which won you fractures. Many unique stories in fact…hey, I know: ever thought about writin’ a book!?!